Sex In A Pan

 

So I have been thinking, unable to sleep at night thinking, about how text messaging has changed dating.  Not that I did a whole lot of dating before text messaging, not that I do a whole lot now, but still I've thought about it.  I THINK there was a time that a man asked a woman on a date and then they made a plan, set a date, a time and a place for this so-called date.  I want to know why it is that actually making a date has fallen by the wayside.  In this case I'm going to blame text messaging, mostly because I love men too much to blame them.  With the advent of text messaging (cell phones really) we have the ability to contact people anytime, any place.  Why set an actual date with someone you're interested in when you can send them a text asking them to meet you in 1/2 an hour because you happen to be in the area.   Generally speaking, if they're interested they will probably agree to the last minute meeting.  I say we should put an end to the last minute date, let's throwback to a time when you set a date, time and place.  I'm not saying it has to be fancy, it can be coffee or ice cream but I have a life and if you're interested enough to want to see me again you should be interested enough to make a PLAN!  Unfortunately this planning thing doesn't happen, I get busy with my life and miss the all important text message or just don't want to put what I'm doing on hold at that time and I never see the guy again.  Then I end up feeling guilty and beating myself up for not "seizing the moment" and running off at the last minute to meet the guy.  This lack of follow through has left me with a bit of a lack in "other areas" shall we say, hence the need for this recipe.  It's not gluten or dairy free and it will probably make me feel like crap later, but I just don't care (kind of like how it works when you take a random home).

What You Will Need:

Graham Cracker Crumbs

1/2 C. cream cheese

1 C. Cool Whip

2 tsp. powdered sugar

1-2 dark chocolate pudding cups

Strawberries

Make the graham cracker crust according to the directions on the box of crumbs.  I used their recipe and cut it in half to make a suitable single serving.  I used a pan that had 4 mini bread loaf molds in it.  I pressed graham cracker crust mix into the bottom and along the sides of one of the loaf molds.  Bake the crust at 350 degrees for 6-8 minutes.  Mix the cream cheese, cool whip and powdered sugar together and then spread at the bottom of your crust.  Layer the pudding on top, as much or as little as you want.  Chill in the fridge for an hour or so to make it more solid.  When it's chilled long enough, top with strawberries and eat up, try not to moan too loudly while you do so!  I swear this dessert is as good as sex (almost).

Now a note for our male readers-PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE try asking a girl out, making an actual plan and then follow through, otherwise there might not be any sex for you...in a pan or otherwise!

Megan S.

Eat more kale.

Seriously, you should be eating more kale.  Not only is it delicious but it's crazy good for you.  And easy!  When I was doing a little research for this post I found that kale is absolutely laden with all sort of good things for you like fiber, calcium, vitamin A, vitamin C, and vitamin K.  The thing that's super cool is that vitamin K helps your body absorb calcium so really it's a double whammy.  Now, I know you all don't read this for health info.  We all just like fun stories and recipes.  But every now and then I gotta get on my soapbox.  So, eat up and enjoy BOTH of my yummy kale recipes!

Kale/Craisin salad

1/2 bunch kale, sliced
1/4 cup pine nuts, toasted
1/4 cup craisins
1/4 cup parmesan (I skip this as I'm not really a dairy person)


Dressing -
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 cloves garlic
1/3 cup olive oil
salt and pepper to taster

Combine salad ingredients in one bowl.  Mix together dressing and toss with salad.  Let chill for a couple hours and serve!

And here's a fun way you can use the other 1/2 bunch of kale!

KALE CHIPS!  Live 'em, learn 'em, love 'em.  Trust.

1/2 bunch kale
Pam olive oil spray
sea salt

Tear kale into bite size bits.  Spray with olive oil and sprinkle with salt.  Bake at 400 degrees til crunchy and awesome (about 20 mins).

Also, one last little thing that has been bothering me for a while.  Is there hidden meaning to the song Rocket Man by Elton John?  If so, what is it?  If you can explain it to me and I believe you I swear I'll come to your house and cook for you.

Don't forget the wine!  I sure didn't!

Cheers,
Megan J

Potachos!

As a normal human being I have a soft spot for junk food.  I mean, seriously, who doesn't love french fries and onion rings and anything deep fried?  The only downer is that it's awful for you and makes you fat.  And I don't wanna get fat.  I already have to work out enough as is and that's kind of a bitch.  So, often I'll try to put a healthy spin on some of my junky favorites.  Like nachos.  If you look at most of the ingredients it's really not that bad for you.  It's mostly veggies and stuff.  I've found it tends to go down hill when you start to look at the chips and the things like sour cream and what not.  So, I came up with a toned down version that's still delicious!

You will need:

2 yukon gold potatoes
5 cherry tomatoes, halved
jalapenos, added to taste
1 can beans (your choice which kind)
1 small can sliced olives
1/2 an onion, chopped
1/2 a green pepper, chopped
1/2 a red pepper, chopped
1/4 cup mexican style cheese

Heat oven to 400.  Slice potatoes into uniform and bite size pieces.  Lay out on a cookie sheet and bake til crispy, stirring a few times.  This will take about 20 mins.  While those bake chop up your onion and both peppers.  Now you'll want a medium sized pan with high sides, whatever on earth that's actually called.  You'll want to use this to saute them over medium heat until onion becomes transparent.  Set aside.   While I wait for the potatoes to finish up I like to get all my other stuffs ready.  I like to drain and rinse my beans so I'll do that and get my tomatoes all sliced and open all my cans and that.  And drink wine :)  Duh.  When all of your ingredients are ready you'll want to throw them into that high sided pan I had you use.  Let everything cook around and heat up for about 5 mins.  Then add your cheese.  I find that the easiest way to get it melty and awesome is to put your cheese on, then add a little water and cover it.  This will create some pretty great steam and will get everything delicious.  Now you're ready to eat!

As I was writing this I was thinking of how rad it would be to throw in some corn.  I know most of the population would like ground beef with taco seasoning on there too and that would be mighty tasty.  Oh, and for most of the population who enjoy avocados, toss 'em on and enjoy!   Modify all you want.  I just ask that you drink wine while you do it.

Cheers!

Megan J

Pork Roast

In many ways I am a traditional girl with traditional values and traditional tastes.  I like t-shirts and jeans, the man to make the first move and a tasty pork roast with potatoes.  Most of these traditional values come from being raised by traditional parents.  My mom was home everyday when I got home from school, I would like to say with fresh baked cookies waiting but lets get real, most moms don't have time for that.  My mom worked way beyond 40 hours a week to provide for his family.  We ate dinner as a family at the dinner table, not in front of TV, almost every night.  Each one of us kids had a night to do the dishes and if we didn't do it, honestly I don't know what would have happened, I don't remember being brave enough to risk it.  On occasion these nightly dinners consisted of pork roast and potatoes.  This recipe is not my mom's recipe, not all of her recipes are great, but it is a pretty tasty recipe all the same.

What you will need:

Pork roast (I used part of the one I bought for the pork verde, I had frozen it in several "single serve" baggies)
1 potato (peeled and chopped)
1/2 onion (peeled and sliced)
a handful of baby carrots
1/2 cup water
1/8 cup red wine (I used whatever bottle was lying around)
1-2 garlic cloves, minced
1 T. soy sauce
1/2 T. beef bouillon powder
approx. 1 tsp onion powder
approx. 1/2 tsp. celery seed
a few dashes of pepper

I know this looks like one hell of a list of ingredients but I promise, it's easy.  All you have to do is throw everything into your crock pot, turn it on high and wait for the pork to fall apart.  As I've said before I like my pork tender and falling apart.  When it starts to fall apart I know it's how I want it.  This took about four hours in my small crock pot and the pork started out frozen.  You can cook it on low if you plan on leaving it longer, say while you're spending 8 hours at work.

Enjoy!
Megan S.

Birfday brunch

Brunch is the best meal ever.   I just love it.  I think my love stemmed from my formative years in West Glacier.   A few years back some of my friends decided to open a breakfast cafe.  During one of our hikes we decided that I should probably be the dishwasher.  Which was probably the best job I've ever had.  I mean, good pay, good friends, good food, and unlimited mimosas.  Life was good.  Since then I can never seem to get enough of brunch type items and I happen to think that breakfast sandwiches are probably the best creation on the planet.  It's the way to my heart, I tell ya.  And since today is my birthday (what up, 29!) I thought it would only make sense to enjoy my favorite meal - and you should too!

You will need:

3 eggs
1/4 of a bundle of green onions (chopped)
1/2 of a tomato (chopped)
one bagel (your choice of flavor)
1/8c of milk (I used almond milk)
1/4c crumbled feta
2 slices peppered bacon (optional)
salt and pepper to taste

You'll want to start out by prepping your veggies and getting your bacon cooked up.  I like to cut my strips in half so they fit on my sandwich better.  You can go with either the traditional stove top method or bake them like Sam suggested.  As long as they're cooked all is well!  In a decent sized cereal bowl combine eggs (I used two whites and one with yolk), green onions, feta, tomatoes, salt, pepper, and almond milk.  Whisk the mixture until well blended and frothy.  Put mixture in a pan with a dash of hot oil.  While the egg mixture cooks to your desired level you'll want to toast your bagel.  I'm lazy and use my oven but a toaster works too.  Fun fact I learned from Sister Wives (yes, I watch terrible reality tv shows) - more people are killed each year by toasters than sharks!  So, if you use a toaster, please do so with caution.  At this point you're ready to assemble.  I lay out my bagel and then scoop my egg mixture on and add my bacon and then the other part of the bagel.  The best part - enjoy!

Cause it's my birthday and brunch I threw in a mimosa too!

Cheers!  Megan J

Cajun burger

I'm sure some of you have noticed that there is a lack of recipes using red meat on this blog.  Part of this is because one of the writers is a vegetarian and this writer really does prefer chicken.  I don't know if it's because of my upbringing or despite it that I love chicken, I just do.  I was raised in a red meat and potatoes kind of family.  Steak and potatoes almost every single night.  For a long time I was a steak and potatoes kind of girl too, that's what I ate at restaurants, it's what I requested my mom make for dinner.  I think my transition to chicken stems more from my fear of cooking red meat than my lack of love for it.  I've always been afraid that I'll overcook it until it's a dried out and far less appetizing version of itself, but for you, our loyal readers, I decided to go for it.  I came up with this delicious take on an American classic.

You will need:
enough ground beef for your ideal sized burger (or wild game stolen from your parents' freezer if you live like I do)
1/4 green bell pepper minced
slice of pepper jack cheese
bacon (optional)
all your favorite burger toppings (lettuce, tomato, pickles, ketchup, mayo)
a few dashes of the following:
cayenne pepper
black pepper
salt
garlic powder

Mix your minced pepper and spices in with your ground beef.  I recommend getting over the EEEW aspect and just getting your (clean) hands in there and mixing it that way, it's much more efficient.  Once it's completely mixed make your patty and cook on medium heat in a skillet for a few minutes on each side.  Add the pepper jack when you are cooking the second side so that it has a little time to melt.  I like to add real bacon bits to the cheese to make some melty deliciousness.  Not to mention bacon bits are easier than cooking up some bacon.  I used a couple slices of GF focaccia bread for my bun, unfortunately that wasn't awesome so feel free to use any type of bun you want.  I used cajun mayo on my burger, If you're a fan, use the same spices listed above and mix with mayo until it tastes amazing!  Add your favorite burger toppings and dig in!!

Megan S

The Best Post Yet!

So as you may have guessed we spinsters have been pretty busy lately, which explains our lack of recent posts.  Since you have been so patient with us I decided to give you the BEST post ever!  As you may have read in our blog I (Megan S) prefer quick, easy and delicious meals.  I'm always busy and I have a tendency to forget to eat until I am STARVING.  This is one of many reasons that I like to be able to throw good food together as quick as possible.  Unfortunately, there are those times, when I've been sitting at my sewing machine for 8 hours with only crackers and water to drink.  It is these times that I need something more than quick and easy, I need something right now without delay, this recipe is for times like those.

You will need:
transportation (walk, ride, drive)
some form of payment (card, cash)
A Dairy Queen nearby
a love of disgustingly delicious fast food
It also doesn't hurt to have someone to share your fries with (Megan J is my chosen one)

To make this recipe simply use your chosen means of transportation, grab your form of payment and head to your local DQ.  When you arrive there order your favorite meal and don't forget dessert.  My favorite meal is the ultimate burger combo, what could be better than a cheeseburger with bacon and all that other stuff smothered in a delicious sauce of unknown origin.  I generally hit up the drive-thru and bring the delicious mess home to binge on.  I pour myself a glass of cheap pinot grigio (I've found this pairs best with DQ), tear open my fry sauce and dig in.  The only downside to this recipe?  You've gotta be willing to spend a little extra time at the gym the next day!

 Hope you all enjoy this fast and delicious recipe.  Don't despair we will back with legitimate recipes before you know it!

Megan S.